MY HEROINE IS GONE

Yesterday to me was one of those days, I woke up worried because things were not going well at all. I had no appetite, later I got so busy though and at least the day moved along and the nerves were gone, I met a friend in the place I least expected then I looked at my phone and my heart sank, it was a text from my sister it was short and to the point, have you heard Grandma has passed away?

It was shattering, I called my mum and the only thing she could say is “Mum is gone,” my mother was actually there, they had taken her to hospital and she died even before being admitted. There is something about death, you never quite know how to feel about it or how to console those most affected, it just makes you numb sometimes, it shocks and then there is pain, pain in the realization that they are never going to make you laugh again and in an instant all that you shared flashes in your mind and you hope it is a dream that you will wake up from then you realize it is not.

Instead of mourning by crying, I want to eulogize my Grandma Hendrica Wandera. Nahayo, we will miss her, I remember her for he resilience, she one day was a strong hardworking beautiful woman with working legs that arthritis took from her. She was later confined to a wheelchair but she would make you feel ashamed for complaining about your life because despite that she was the most hopeful person you ever saw, she never slept without praying and it’s not a five minute prayer, there would be reading the bible and saying the rosary. Whenever she called and you spoke to her, she would always end with a bible verse for you to read, she never lost faith despite all she went through.

She had a sense of humour too, once she called and we talked and I was in college, she said, “Soma kwa bidii, soma kabisa mpaka ufike mwisho, Onyango asikuje akudanganye uwache kusoma, siku hizi hata wasichana ndio wanasoma kabisa,”(Study hard, study very hard until you finish, do not let Onyango lie to you to stop studying, now days, it is actually girls who study a lot) I cracked up about the Onyango thing and it is unfortunate, she died before I found my Onyango. My grandmother made the most moving speech during my uncles wedding, I was sobbing not even just crying, I am sure she would have made an even better one at mine.

She did not go far in school but she was a linguist she knew how to read swahili very well, she could speak good English, she spoke Khayo, Luo, Teso all fluently. Imagine what she would do if she learnt French, German and the rest.

She inspired me and if I had half the faith she did, I am sure I could do a lot, if I had half the resilience she had, believe me you, I would be President if not more. That is how strong she was, nothing weighed her, through her sickness she fought with all she had and was even the one encouraging us instead of us her.

I could write all day, I just hope I have eulogized her enough for now, I know she is in a better place. May your soul Nahayo, rest in peace. Say hi to Grandpa. Peace be with you.

You have fought the good fight, you have have finished the race and kept the faith. until we meet again sweet grandma.

 

 

 

TO NEW BEGINNINGS

So, finally, we are in 2017 and I am elated. I am very happy because even  though it just a continuation from where I was in 2016 at least it gives an illusion of new things to come. It gives the illusion of a new start and 2016 being the shitty year that it was for me at least, I needed the New Year to give me hope and a new push.

So in 2017, I just want to do a few things, we could try them together

  1. Not be too hard on myself

So many times I wanted everything to go at max speed in 2016 and I ended up not cutting myself any slack, well, no more of that in 2017

  1. Get out of my comfort zone

This one will definitely be my challenge. I am a person that once I get used to something I get very comfortable, I am also very lazy which does not help much but I plan to put effort on that a little more this year.

  1. Live a little

Many times we let the struggles and events of this life depress us and become our lives. This year as I make my goal to enjoy the little moments I hope you who has the same problem will try to as well, let us not just exist but live in 2017

  1. Let go and let God

I plan to work on my spiritual life. I just want to cast all my burdens to Him who promises he has a lighter York. Grow my faith and have my burdens carried for me.

I will not give myself too many resolutions hopefully these will chart my path this year.

Have a fulfilling 2017 and thank you for continuing to journey with me this year.